Stay until...

Sometimes it is harder to stay than it is to go.

Sometimes it takes more faith to have common sense than it is to be adventurous.

The Bible is full of stories where the Lord says “Go.” 

"Abraham, go to the land that I will show you"

"Moses, go set my people free"

"Joshua, go into the promised land"

"Elijah, go"

"Jeremiah, go"

"Ezekiel, go"

"Go into all the world and preach the gospel"

Have courage! Be brave! Go!

We live in a time when comfort zones are disgraceful and staying in the same place is wimping out.

But what if you are supposed to stay? What if you need time in one place? What if you need to grow strong here and grow in wisdom here?

One of the most powerful times in the Bible--one of the most powerful times in history--

the Lord said “Stay.”

“[H]e ordered them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the promise of the Father…'But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.'”

Wait. Stay. Before you go, I need to give you something. 

There is something that you need here.

The disciples could have jumped up the minute Jesus had ascended to Heaven, and they could have dispersed through the lands sharing the gospel. What good would it have done, though, without the power and conviction of the Holy Spirit?

They had to wait days just praying and worshipping. There were probably doubts, questions, and “when can we leave”s.

But there is a time of preparation and a time of action. A time to stay and a time to go.

So until the Lord calls me, I am staying. Not because I am scared but because this is 

where the Lord has me. I will follow in the footsteps of the disciples: When they could have left they stayed. When they could have left, they obeyed.

And you better believe that when the Lord does say to me “Go,” I will go forth in excitement, full of faith, and stronger because of my waiting.

twenty sixteen

I want to seek You first

I want to love You more

I want to give you the honor You deserve

So I bow before You

I am overcome by the beauty of this perfect love

Now I am hidden

In the safety of Your love

I trust Your heart and Your intentions

Trust You completely

I'm listening intently

You'll guide me through these many shadows

airports.

Airports. A place of waiting. A place of thinking. A place of watching. A place of dreaming. Airports are that middle ground between one place and the next--one stage and the next. You can either rush through them or rest in them, pass them in a blur or take the time to rejuvenate.  

I feel like airports encapsulate my life at the moment. Shifting from one place to another. Leaving the familiar and traveling to uncharted lands. I am sitting in my own personal life airport, sad to leave one place and nervous to venture to another, yet excited to experience new places, new things, and new people. 

Instead of rushing through my airport, I am choosing rest. Instead of worrying about what could happen on the plane or what my destination will look like or what I will do once I get there, I am choosing joy and peace. I am learning to wait with anticipation and not with anxiety.

Anticipation for the future. Anticipation for the good things. Anticipation for the learning and growing moments. Anticipation for who I will become.

I am learning to wait with the Lord. And also learning what “wait” means. I think waiting is less of a “just sit here until someone tells me it’s time to go” and more of a sweet rest. Resting in His promises and resting in His word. Resting in the knowledge of the truth.

Waiting doesn’t have to be terrible. And neither do airports. If you know how to appreciate them.   

okay.

Some days I feel like my hobbies and talents only consist of doing school and taking naps.

You know how there are those people who are really good at something and they are known for that something. Like they are good at music. They are good at art. They are good at technology. They are good at reading books. They are good at sports. They are good at cooking. etc. etc.

And then there are those people who don’t have a “thing,” and they feel lost in a world with people who have “things.”

I have a modge-podge of interests. I like taking pictures. I like playing the piano. I like reading about William Wilberforce and World War II. I like listening to apologist podcasts and watching bands’ youtube videos. I like looking at stars. I like swing-dancing. I like baking casseroles. I like playing LEGO video games. I like putting puzzles together. I like figuring math problems. I like reading blogs from people I don’t know. I like working with PowerPoint presentations. I like playing with kids. And I really do like taking naps.  

I’m not a math whiz, a science geek, an English nerd, or a history buff. I’m not overly special at doing crafts or sports or music. I just have a lot of things that I am okay at doing.

And I am learning that being “okay” is okay.

It is okay to be different by just being average. It is okay to live unlike everyone else by being normal. It is okay to find your purpose and invest your efforts in something common.

I am learning to live my life in my own way and not by the standards I think other people have set.

Live--and enjoy it. You don’t have to pick one “thing” to do with your life. Do lots of things, not because you love them, but because you like them. Do lots of things, not because you are great at them, but because you are okay at them.

2015.

You know, the future is a funny thing. The fact that we have no idea what will happen tomorrow or the next day.We don’t know what will happen in the next minute, let alone, in the next year. For some, that may be wonderful and exciting. To others, that could cause major paranoia or fear.

For me, it is sort of a mixture of both. Scary and exciting. At this moment in time, I have nearly zero control over the people with whom I will cross paths, the places I will visit, the lessons I will learn, the laughter and tears that will be produced in this coming year.

A lot of times, as I look back over a year which has ended, I can see a theme and pattern and can pick out a “theme song,” if you will. Some years may be rough, some great, and some that in-between/transition/I-don’t-know-what’s-going-on-but-something-is kind of years.

But this year. 2015. I just know it’s going to be special(just not sure in what way.) And when I heard this classic Rich Mullins song last week, something in the lyrics and music just sank into my heart. I have listened to it over-and-over each day. I feel like this song isn’t for last year or the year before that. I think it is for this year. Come what may:

“So if I stand, let me stand on the promise

That You will pull me through.

And if I can’t, let me fall on the grace

That first brought me to You.

And if I sing, let me sing for the joy

That has born in me these songs.

And if I weep, let it be as a man

Who is longing for his home.”

No matter what happens, may I stand on the promises of God. And when I grow weary, may I still know that the Lord is good and His love and mercy is everlasting to everlasting. And because of that, may I always, always sing His praises. And in everything that I do and in everything that I encounter, may I remember that I am merely a sojourner on this earth. This is not my home.

“And if I weep, let it be as a man

Who is longing for his home.”

I was made for eternity and for eternity will I be living.

optimism

I don't know why we can't just be happy all of the time. It is so much nicer than being mean and grumpy.

my heart.

If the Titanic was made to sink
Then so was my heart
For I made sure it was impenetrable.
--Tendons, Bellarive

My life at the moment.

But every single time I ever get down, every single time, I am amazed by the Lord's faithfulness. He's just so good to me.

Praise His name--I'm fixed upon it.

Come, Thou fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above;
Praise His name--I'm fixed upon it--
Name of God's redeeming love.

Hither to Thy love has blest me;
Thou hast bro't me to this place;
And I know Thy hand will bring me
Safely home by Thy good grace.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger, 
Bought me with His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, 
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Tonight I am thankful for the beauty and simplicity of hymns and their ability to capture my heart's prayer.

eighteen.

Tomorrow I will turn eighteen. I honestly cannot believe I am turning eighteen. It sounds insane to me. My teenage years have had such smooth transitions that I can't believe they are almost past me. When someone says, "Oh, I can't believe you are that old!" I think to myself, "I sure don't feel that old."

Heh. I find it so funny. Growing up is not what I thought it would be like. As a little girl, I remember looking up to teenage girls and being so excited about being one myself someday. They were pretty, they could drive, they went shopping with friends, and they could play the piano insanely well. I also remember thinking about college and holding it on a special pedestal. I thought I would pack-up, go away to college, and come home for the holidays. (And, of course, meet my future husband and bring him home for Christmas.)

But life is so different then fantasies. And so much better.

I finally got past the awkward teenage years when I thought myself to be ugly.(Hallelujah.) I have a driver's license, but I hate to drive. I don't have that much of a social life full of movies and shopping, but I am cool with that. I don't play the piano nearly as well as I would like, but I am learning to find the beauty of music more and more. Oh, and college. I am finishing my first semester of online classes for college, so I live at home and do school. (And on that same note, college is just schoolwork. No big deal.)

This past year has been really calm, nothing dramatic happening. It has, however, been a conglomeration of many small, special things. I have a wonderful small circle of friends with whom I get to play music and worship Jesus. I have an incredible family. Even though my siblings and I are all growing up and doing our own things, I find my relationships with them becoming stronger. We may not have cross-country vacations, but discussing Doctor Who and nerding-out about Captain America is just as fun. (Also, thanks to Pinterest, I may have actually learned a little bit about fashion this year.)

And I am so thankful for Jesus' faithfulness. It just astounds me. I am so thankful that my relationship with Him has grown so much over the years. I mean, I fail Him everyday and am not even close to where I need to be. But this past year has taught me to trust Him that I will make it there. I think that is the biggest thing I have learned this past year. I don't have to worry so much about where I am going. I just need to live right here and right now. When the time comes for me to move ahead, then Jesus will light the path before me.

So. I have no idea where God will take me in my eighteenth year or who He will bring across my path or what He will teach me. But, I am super excited about the adventure up ahead. May this year be full of Jesus and joy and hope and revelation.

Hi. My name is Brooke, and I am going to Africa.

The Gospel.

"Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in His name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. And behold, I am sending the promise of My Father upon you. But stay in the city until you are clothed with power from on high."-Luke 24:46-49

That Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead. And that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in His name to all nations.

The simple truth. I think we make the Gospel complicated.

You see, God isn't asking for perfect people to come to Himself so that He can accept them as His own. He is calling out for the poor and powerless, the weak and needy, the no good, the losers, the hopeless, the fearful, and the wandering. He wants us just as we are. And through His power, He makes us whole.

Don't water-down the Gospel. Don't try to make it fit into your own ideas. You can't conform it to your life. It doesn't work like that. If you try to conform the Gospel to your life, it doesn't have any affect.

THE GOSPEL IS THE LIVING WORD. IT BRINGS LIFE AND PEACE AND JOY.

We try to fit it into a box to make ourselves feel better. But we can't. We aren't supposed to.

When we lay everything before God. I mean everything. Our hopes and our dreams. Our failures and our weaknesses. He breathes His life into us. The creator of the universe breathes His life into us. THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. Before Him nothing on the earth or under the earth can possibly stand with pride. "Therefore God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."-Philippians 2:9-11

It is in the humbling, in the dying to our flesh. It is there that we find life. Glorious life! The life that comes from the One true God! Jesus Christ! He who suffered and rose again on the third day that we may have forgiveness of sins.

We must work everyday. Because a war was never won in a day. So we press on. Further up and further in.

Summer 2013

The summer I decided to be myself.

The summer I decided not to lose the innocence of childhood.

The summer I dreamed of Africa.

The summer we were in the pool and jumped off the ladder for an hour yelling out    movie quotes.

The summer I learned to let go and trust God.

The summer I babysat a little girl.

The summer Josh and Maegan became my best friends.

The summer we decided to buy a lodge.

The summer we played volleyball.

The summer I found Doctor Who.

The summer I began studying personality types.

The summer we read ALL of the time.

The summer we made a Batman movie.

The summer I learned to be content.

The summer Phillip and I discovered NASA documentaries.

The summer I finished my painting.

The summer I began learning discipline and persistence.

The summer Captain America and I became pals.

The summer the blogging-rage hit my family.

The summer I started playing the guitar.

The summer we watched movies on Netflix. A lot.

The summer of late-night revelations.

The summer I decided to learn.

The summer of continual rainy days and mounds of ice-cream.

The summer I did not achieve any of the goals I had set out to do but in the process, accomplished so much more than I could have anticipated.

I don't have to carry it on my own.

My life at the moment is crazy. Well, it isn’t so much what is going on around me, but my mind is going ninety miles a minute.

Trying to finish Algebra II. I must finish. I need to make a good grade. Must finish. What are you talking about, Problem? Must finish.
Preparing/Attempting to keep calm for the ACT next month. It is just a test. No biggie. Oh my, 35 minutes for 40 science questions. Whaa? I will make a good score.
Piano. I think we are reaching a breakthrough!
Dairy project. Why did I volunteer to do research? *bangs head on desk*
Guatemala. Raise a ton of money over the summer. No problem...right? But seriously, I am super excited about the trip. I got my passport in the mail todaaay!
College. Aaaggghhhh!!! No, I don’t know what I am going to do after high-school. Distance-learning course vs. Community College. Business vs. Education. The decisions one must make.

And you know what the worst part is? I have pushed God to the back of my mind in all of this. Craziness is ten times crazier when I am not praying and reading my Bible. This is a major problem. #1. God is so much worthier than that. #2 God is who keeps me calm. He keeps me together. He keeps me sane. And I don’t mean that jokingly. The past few days I have been so scatter-brained, snappy, and just not happy.

But I am reminded that I don't have to live this crazy life by myself. He is bigger than my problems. He is stronger than my fears. And His grace is greater than all of my mistakes.

My Jesus

Image via: google.com

I don't think there is a word in the English language that can fully describe God. If there was a word, the only one that comes close is "HOLY."

You see, my God is the One who made that beautiful blue sky with the cotton-candy clouds. He created that green grass you walk on.

My God is the One who makes the blind to see and the deaf to hear. He is the One that wipes away cancer. 

My God is the One whom demons tremble before. He is the One who sets the captives free.

My God is the King of the Universe. 

And He chose to step down from His throne, become a man, and die...for me. My mind can't comprehend it. The Father gave His only Son to die for a wretched sinner. When He was up there on that cross, He had me on His mind. And He had you on His mind. 

After three days of being in a tomb, He rose up and walked out alive in the power of God. He broke the chains of death and bought back His children. The power of sin and death is nothing compared to my Jesus.

My Jesus is King of Kings. My Jesus is Healer. My Jesus is Savior. Redeemer. Chain-breaker. Lamb of God. Great I Am. Friend. Lord of Lords. Victory. Hope. Love. Holy.

True Love-Phil Wickham

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tj_shtsija8&feature=related

Change is inevitable.

Image via: pinterest.com

I thought that I liked change. Seeing new places and meeting new people were always exciting. I loved moving houses, and I was more than happy to change schools in order to have new experiences.
But this week I realized how much I dislike change. I miss how things were and wish they were the same now. I miss TeenPact. I miss going to Mobile each month. I miss cRave every Friday night. I miss all of those crazy people who seemed like family. I feel like they are fading away from my life, and I don’t want that to happen. I want everything how it was.
And if all that has changed in two years, then I can’t imagine what the next two will be like. The unknown future is not something that I am scared of, but sometimes I don’t like what the future brings.
Everything is changing at church, people coming and going. I will be graduating next year, starting college, and finding a job. I will miss my friends, co-op on Tuesdays, and my leadership class.
“You have the memories,” one might say. But I don’t want the memories. I want it to be now. Maybe I am all “blah” right now because life is so uneventful. Everything is routine which becomes bland and dull. Church on Sundays and Wednesdays and school the rest of the time. I want to change the world, not sit at home and study Chemistry.
But I know God is taking me somewhere. I know He has awesome plans for me. And I know He has to take me through all these stages of life. I may enjoy certain stages more than others, but He uses them all to prepare me. The important thing is to seek Him, and use every opportunity that He gives me to impact the world around me. Change is not always pleasant, but change is necessary. I must remind myself everyday: Don’t worry. God knows what He is doing.


“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”-Jeremiah 29:11 

Live Love

Love. Such a small word.

Yet, when put into action, it can turn the world upside-down.


Image via: pinterest.com

For the crazy ones.

Image via: pinterest.com

Growing Pains

You know the feeling when you have that weakness in your life that you have to face? Me? I have horrible communication skills. I can't speak in front of a group of people whether it be making speeches, announcements, or any other form of speaking. When I see all of those eyes looking at me watching my every move, my knees get weak, my hands get sweaty, my voice shakes, and my mind goes totally blank.

This week I received a letter in the mail from my school, informing me that a new program was being formed. A ten-week communications class. And I was one of the few selected people to attend.

I absolutely did not want to do this and was going to decline the offer. But then I realized something: Sometimes the things we see as obstacles are really opportunities. God wants to see us grow, and He gives us these opportunities in order to stretch us. You can't walk on water unless you get out of the boat. You can't grow unless you get out of your comfort zone.

So here I am, facing my fear, and determined to conquer it. This is going to take pain-staking effort, hours of prayer, and I expect a few emotional break-downs.

But when it is over, I will look back and say: It was worth all of the growing pains...

Currently...

Reading: Crazy Love-Overwhelmed by a Relentless God. This is one of those turn-your-world-upside-down kind of books. An amazing read.

Listening to: Phil Wickham's "Because of Your Love." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekrKOYRZC0I

Recommended Blog:[ http://forallthefanatics.blogspot.com/ ] This girl inspires me. Her previous blog leading up to the new one can be found at http://sistersnthesavior.blogspot.com/

Encouraging Scripture: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.-2 Corinthians 5:17 {I am free from all of the past mistakes. His blood is enough to break every chain.}

Favorite Quote: "Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes."

Inspiring Person: Tim Tebow. This kid has something special. He's got Jesus, and he isn't afraid to tell you about Him. :)

Images via: google.com

It's time for a wake-up call.

God has been doing so much lately--in me and in the people around me. I'm going to be honest, the past few months I have been distracted by the things around me. Friends, television, clothes, etc. It's crazy. I have never been distracted by physical things, but I have wanted this and that and everything between. My prayer life and time spent reading the Bible had decreased. I had become lazy and complacent. But through it all, I was dissatisfied and longed for something greater.

But God is faithful. :) Last week I turned sixteen and the cry of my heart is in this song:

I pray that my sixteenth year will be the greatest pursuit of God I have ever experienced. That He will astound me, take my breath away, and turn my world upside-down with the things of Him. That He will become my passion. That our relationship will be more than a check-list. That He will be my everything. I have learned that nothing in this world will be able to satisfy any of our longings. We must pursue Him. We must pursue His presence. Because that is the only thing that will bring satisfaction.

My blog has changed because I am praying that my generation will receive their wake-up call. You know what is awesome to think about? It only takes one person to step out and say, "Hey, God. I'm ready. Use me. I don't care what people say or do. My life is Yours. Your will be done." When one person sets on fire, their passion will spread to the next person, then the next person. Soon we have a whole generation passionate for their loving Father. Isn't that a lovely thought...