my heart.

If the Titanic was made to sink
Then so was my heart
For I made sure it was impenetrable.
--Tendons, Bellarive

My life at the moment.

But every single time I ever get down, every single time, I am amazed by the Lord's faithfulness. He's just so good to me.

Praise His name--I'm fixed upon it.

Come, Thou fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above;
Praise His name--I'm fixed upon it--
Name of God's redeeming love.

Hither to Thy love has blest me;
Thou hast bro't me to this place;
And I know Thy hand will bring me
Safely home by Thy good grace.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger, 
Bought me with His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, 
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Tonight I am thankful for the beauty and simplicity of hymns and their ability to capture my heart's prayer.

eighteen.

Tomorrow I will turn eighteen. I honestly cannot believe I am turning eighteen. It sounds insane to me. My teenage years have had such smooth transitions that I can't believe they are almost past me. When someone says, "Oh, I can't believe you are that old!" I think to myself, "I sure don't feel that old."

Heh. I find it so funny. Growing up is not what I thought it would be like. As a little girl, I remember looking up to teenage girls and being so excited about being one myself someday. They were pretty, they could drive, they went shopping with friends, and they could play the piano insanely well. I also remember thinking about college and holding it on a special pedestal. I thought I would pack-up, go away to college, and come home for the holidays. (And, of course, meet my future husband and bring him home for Christmas.)

But life is so different then fantasies. And so much better.

I finally got past the awkward teenage years when I thought myself to be ugly.(Hallelujah.) I have a driver's license, but I hate to drive. I don't have that much of a social life full of movies and shopping, but I am cool with that. I don't play the piano nearly as well as I would like, but I am learning to find the beauty of music more and more. Oh, and college. I am finishing my first semester of online classes for college, so I live at home and do school. (And on that same note, college is just schoolwork. No big deal.)

This past year has been really calm, nothing dramatic happening. It has, however, been a conglomeration of many small, special things. I have a wonderful small circle of friends with whom I get to play music and worship Jesus. I have an incredible family. Even though my siblings and I are all growing up and doing our own things, I find my relationships with them becoming stronger. We may not have cross-country vacations, but discussing Doctor Who and nerding-out about Captain America is just as fun. (Also, thanks to Pinterest, I may have actually learned a little bit about fashion this year.)

And I am so thankful for Jesus' faithfulness. It just astounds me. I am so thankful that my relationship with Him has grown so much over the years. I mean, I fail Him everyday and am not even close to where I need to be. But this past year has taught me to trust Him that I will make it there. I think that is the biggest thing I have learned this past year. I don't have to worry so much about where I am going. I just need to live right here and right now. When the time comes for me to move ahead, then Jesus will light the path before me.

So. I have no idea where God will take me in my eighteenth year or who He will bring across my path or what He will teach me. But, I am super excited about the adventure up ahead. May this year be full of Jesus and joy and hope and revelation.

Hi. My name is Brooke, and I am going to Africa.

The Gospel.

"Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in His name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. And behold, I am sending the promise of My Father upon you. But stay in the city until you are clothed with power from on high."-Luke 24:46-49

That Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead. And that repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in His name to all nations.

The simple truth. I think we make the Gospel complicated.

You see, God isn't asking for perfect people to come to Himself so that He can accept them as His own. He is calling out for the poor and powerless, the weak and needy, the no good, the losers, the hopeless, the fearful, and the wandering. He wants us just as we are. And through His power, He makes us whole.

Don't water-down the Gospel. Don't try to make it fit into your own ideas. You can't conform it to your life. It doesn't work like that. If you try to conform the Gospel to your life, it doesn't have any affect.

THE GOSPEL IS THE LIVING WORD. IT BRINGS LIFE AND PEACE AND JOY.

We try to fit it into a box to make ourselves feel better. But we can't. We aren't supposed to.

When we lay everything before God. I mean everything. Our hopes and our dreams. Our failures and our weaknesses. He breathes His life into us. The creator of the universe breathes His life into us. THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. Before Him nothing on the earth or under the earth can possibly stand with pride. "Therefore God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."-Philippians 2:9-11

It is in the humbling, in the dying to our flesh. It is there that we find life. Glorious life! The life that comes from the One true God! Jesus Christ! He who suffered and rose again on the third day that we may have forgiveness of sins.

We must work everyday. Because a war was never won in a day. So we press on. Further up and further in.

Summer 2013

The summer I decided to be myself.

The summer I decided not to lose the innocence of childhood.

The summer I dreamed of Africa.

The summer we were in the pool and jumped off the ladder for an hour yelling out    movie quotes.

The summer I learned to let go and trust God.

The summer I babysat a little girl.

The summer Josh and Maegan became my best friends.

The summer we decided to buy a lodge.

The summer we played volleyball.

The summer I found Doctor Who.

The summer I began studying personality types.

The summer we read ALL of the time.

The summer we made a Batman movie.

The summer I learned to be content.

The summer Phillip and I discovered NASA documentaries.

The summer I finished my painting.

The summer I began learning discipline and persistence.

The summer Captain America and I became pals.

The summer the blogging-rage hit my family.

The summer I started playing the guitar.

The summer we watched movies on Netflix. A lot.

The summer of late-night revelations.

The summer I decided to learn.

The summer of continual rainy days and mounds of ice-cream.

The summer I did not achieve any of the goals I had set out to do but in the process, accomplished so much more than I could have anticipated.

I don't have to carry it on my own.

My life at the moment is crazy. Well, it isn’t so much what is going on around me, but my mind is going ninety miles a minute.

Trying to finish Algebra II. I must finish. I need to make a good grade. Must finish. What are you talking about, Problem? Must finish.
Preparing/Attempting to keep calm for the ACT next month. It is just a test. No biggie. Oh my, 35 minutes for 40 science questions. Whaa? I will make a good score.
Piano. I think we are reaching a breakthrough!
Dairy project. Why did I volunteer to do research? *bangs head on desk*
Guatemala. Raise a ton of money over the summer. No problem...right? But seriously, I am super excited about the trip. I got my passport in the mail todaaay!
College. Aaaggghhhh!!! No, I don’t know what I am going to do after high-school. Distance-learning course vs. Community College. Business vs. Education. The decisions one must make.

And you know what the worst part is? I have pushed God to the back of my mind in all of this. Craziness is ten times crazier when I am not praying and reading my Bible. This is a major problem. #1. God is so much worthier than that. #2 God is who keeps me calm. He keeps me together. He keeps me sane. And I don’t mean that jokingly. The past few days I have been so scatter-brained, snappy, and just not happy.

But I am reminded that I don't have to live this crazy life by myself. He is bigger than my problems. He is stronger than my fears. And His grace is greater than all of my mistakes.